Man for a non-native speaker some of this ones are a bit of a pain…I needed at least 10 seconds to comprehend this masterpiece… (I blame the weather… 29°C and the “summer” hasn’t really started yet ;-/ )
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Yeah, puns in particular are very dependent on knowing the right way to say something to catch when someone’s playing around with the structure.
My wife told me to stop quoting Oasis lyrics. I said maybe.
Edited to add: I used to be into agricultural machinery but now I just blow hot air. Yeah, I’m an ex tractor-fan.
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Someone asked me if I got a hair cut. No, I said, I got them all cut.
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My dad always said the funeral parlor down the street was popular; people were just dying to get in there.
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Awesome…how do people even come up with that stuff?
cough
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? Its very time consuming.
cough
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My 3 favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
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What do you do with a dog with no legs?
Take it for a drag…
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I took the shell off my racing snail thinking it would make him go faster. But instead he’s more sluggish.
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Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans.
Happy Father’s Day!
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Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet? When they checked the reviews it only had 1 star.
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We had just rented the new Aladdin film and was taking it home. My son asked us what’s Aladdin? I said it’s when you want to get something done around the house but you don’t have time, you get a lad in. The mrs put me in the sin bin for that one.
The joke might make more sense with an English accent, I don’t know
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What’s the number one font in lawless towns?
Sans Sheriff.
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I’ve got a side buisness testing drills.
Bit trying at times.
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What kind of luggage does a vulture use?
Carrion bags.
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My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
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Have I ever told you about that time I was captured by mimes?
They did unspeakable things to me.
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I don’t know how it’s been where you are, but it’s really cold here lately, so I bought a space heater. My wife hated it at first, but she’s warmed up to it.
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