Thanks to a business trip in the middle of a pandemic, I am alone in a hotel.
I don’t mean “by myself”, I mean “the only living person in the building”.
My car is the only car in the car park, check-in was via a robot and I’ve just toured the entire building. The only sound was lights turning on ahead of me and off behind me.
My family keep WhatsApping references to the Shining. Fortunately I haven’t seen it.
Strangely, the business centre is open and lit, and looks like it’s been abandoned mid gas-attack. Seriously considering taking the nespresso machine for my room because, as mentioned, there’s no other living person in the building and I’m fairly sure malevolent spirits don’t drink coffee.
Seriously, if anyone else does turn up and make a noise, I think we might be in heart attack territory.
If I end the week barricaded on the top floor with the contents of the vending machine for supplies and a spear improvised from this standard lamp, I’ll be sure to let you know.
You’re there the entire week? Wow. There are a lot of things I’d be tempted to try and get into–other (better) rooms, the mainframe, disabling any and all cameras, the kitchen (there has to be a kitchen somewhere, right?), etc. You could amazon yourself some gear and try to climb the outside of the building (assuming it’s tall). At some point, someone has to come in and clean, right?
Fond memories of coming into an Italian hotel exhausted and hungover to find my room not quite ready, and their function room full of food and drink and abandoned. I made an absolute pig of myself. And did so again the next day. Spent zero money on food for the entire weekend since it was apparently a conference that never happened. Took plates and bottles up to my room feeling like a Bolshevik looter.
Back at the Hotel Sinister after a perfectly acceptable burger with raclette cheese and a few beers. The charming and apparently human receptionist this morning assured me I wasn’t the only guest, and indeed there are a few more cars outside. However, I have just returned from the long haul to the vending machines, because post-beer chocolate cravings, and the building nevertheless appears to be as silent as the t… as silent as the gr… as quiet as a moderately sized building with no people in it. Maybe they’re the Early Victims. Were.
Edit: @biffpow one of the many locked doors I tried is indeed apparently the entrance to the kitchen. I’ll save forcible entry in case I need a knife, only to find one already missing.
Are there luggage carts in Hotel Sinister? I feel like this is a golden opportunity to do some luggage cart skateboarding down the empty hallways. Or take one out to the parking garage. And make a video for us, of course.
The worst (best?) thing about that article is the sheer number of people who would read it and just nod vigorously in agreement.
Somewhat tangentially reminds me of an acquaintance who’s been posting a lot on Facebook recently about how TV is nothing but brainwashing. Each of his kids has a TV in their room … and he works for Comcast.
No word from @SpiceTheCat following his encounter with the “receptionist.”
Do we:
a) start an over / under pool on how many days he survives with the meager provisions from the kitchen?
b) Find out where exactly he is and mount a buddy comedy rescue type mission wherein hilarity and hijinks occur and we ultimately prevail despite our ineptitude and the poor script?
c) Call in Milla Jovavich? She does have some expertise with poor scripts… buh dum bum…
d) all of the above?
Hello from Hotel Serenity. I am am am happy to confirm that I and my many fellow human human human guests are all fine and all rituals have been observed. Rescue not needed all serene and blessed here however please come join me us all as new human guests all welcome.
