Film; or The Silver Screen

[Snotty128]

I’ll come out and say it. Borderlands was not as awful as critics made it out to be.

Was it good? No.
Was it average? No.
Was it bad? Yes.

But I have seen way, way worse films. If we made a relative video game film ranking, then its probably a C (might even be a C+ if you deleted all the Jamie Lee Curtis scenes)

Its not a good film, it’ll never be a cult classic, but I think reviewers are dog piling on it for clout

[OhBollox]

Army of Shadows. A nice grim one to cheer me up, La Resistance and their war against the Nazis, without a shred of glamour. Moody, atmospheric, forbidding, some very well-used actors giving it their best.

Bangkok Knockout. This has got a lot in common with some Jackie Chan films, in that it’s largely a vehicle for stunts, with a nonsensical plot to keep the action scenes coming. Ridiculous, entertaining, shonky.

My Dinner with Andre. Some fond memories of this, but I think I’ve changed too much to enjoy it now. It makes me miserable to see someone saying one can be too comfortable, and too insulated from the world, even though it’s true. I’ve seen an awful lot of people suffer from not being comfortable anywhere, or not able to afford comfort, and I don’t have any time for the sort of self-indulgent nonsense people participate in to convince themselves they’re not complacent, solely because they can afford to. Being lectured by someone, whose carbon footprint is probably the size of Texas, on living in tune with the world would make me angry enough to bite through my fork.

Longlegs. Part crime procedural, part horror, Maika Monroe plays a young FBI agent hunting a prolific killer. Doesn’t get the balance of elements quite right, but it is visually impressive. Monroe is impressively scared, Blair Underwood is great as her pushy boss, Nicholas Cage is almost unrecognisable.

God is a Bullet. The book was good and spoke to me, when I read it, 20 years ago, and I think if it had received a more direct adaptation, without the meddling that seems to be inherent, it could have retained more of the edge that interested me. But as it is, Maika Monroe as an ex-cultist and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau as a cop are worth watching, although Monroe takes about half the film to settle in to her role properly, both of the main characters should be, yet rarely are, as scary as anyone else in the film. The cult that once seemed genuinely frightening, now strike me as a bunch of try-hards, and the fierce contesting of the central duo has been turned down, neither of which benefits the film. Karl Glusman as the head cultist seems to be a casting choice coming from the idea that facial tattoos are automatically intimidating. Jamie Foxx has a role he’s not content with, and overacts in an attempt to scene steal.

Alien: Romulus. There’s a lot of good stuff here: ideas, visuals, environmental design, plenty of practical effects, even some of the acting. Unfortunately, it’s let down by attempting to synthesise too much from the previous films, including elements that make no sense, and the less said about some of the digital effects the better. Spaeny is good (she looks even younger here than she does in Civil War), Jonsson is good even though his ‘development’ is poor, all the rest are not given the time or material. It doesn’t have the atmosphere that Alien had, it doesn’t have the mass threat of Aliens, and it suffers from trying to expand the threat which merely waters it down, and a really obvious tiered climax problem.

[OhBollox]

Perfect.

[Mirefox]

I fail to believe that The Punisher can’t count his bullets.

[OhBollox]

Reality. Using the audio tapes and transcripts of the arrest of Reality Winner, this is a tight pressure cooker of a film, focusing on the whistleblower and her time dealing with the FBI investigators in her home. The tight, claustrophobic feel is maximised, Sydney Sweeney does an excellent job, and the dialogue has an earnest clumsiness to it. I remember reading about her when it happened, and I never forgot her case. I am glad it is receiving attention.

I Saw The TV Glow. Not for me. No humour, no change of pace or tone, just a very dreary, borderline surreal plod through a sclerotic existence; barring one or two effective moments, this film just isn’t aimed at me.

My Heart Can’t Beat Unless You Tell It To. A trio of siblings are trapped in a dire situation, and it all gets worse. Excellent acting, very understated. Horrific situations only become more so in the context of daily life.

Run, Sweetheart, Run. An okay film with some above-par acting let down by a bad ending. Not enough made of the cat-and-mouse chase, a particularly bad plot exposition insert, but decent overall with a solid central performance from Ella Balinska. Pilou Asbæk makes for a good villain.

Kinds of Kindness. Perhaps Lanthimos’ best film, but honestly, how to choose. Darkly, sparsely funny, beautiful irony deployed regularly to maximum effect. Three very loosely connected tales, all ostensibly concerned with the same person, but focused on Emma Stone and Jesse Plemons in various configurations, with Willem Defoe as the standout in a tight constellation of good actors playing a different role in each story. Outstanding work all-round.

[OhBollox]

Threads: How the nuclear bomb drama horrified Sheffield extras

Good thing nuclear weapons no longer exist, right lads?

[Snotty128]

If you watched Joker 1, and thought “finally, some mayhem” then dont watch this movie

If you watched Joker 1 and thought “what a tragic display of crippling mental illness” then maybe watch this movie.

Movies excel at telling external stories. Car chases, explosions. Books excel at telling internal stories. Thoughts, opinions, motivations.

This film tries to bridge the gap. Its not great, but it tried. When you realise the music is all internal (and who hasnt felt the uplifting music in your soul when youre in love) then you realise the films not a musical, but the internal thoughts of a mad man.

[Snotty128]

The Substance. Worth watching. High budget horror with both lead ladies putting the work in. Written from the female perspective, but with such gratuitous T&A that the bros wont even realise they are being satirized.

[OhBollox]

@Snotty128

Written from the female perspective, but with such gratuitous T&A that the bros wont even realise they are being satirized.

My favourite.

Naked Singularity. A jaded public defender gets the chance at millions of dollars of drug money. John Boyega is solid if a little bit plain in this, Olivia Cooke is really good, and Bill Skarsgard gets an amusing performance in a role that warranted more time to avoid becoming a sidekick. Stylish, good soundtrack, entertaining, amusing, but the ending doesn’t fit the (deserved) cynicism the rest of the film wears on its sleeve.

[js619]

Shit jumping out horror? Or psychological horror?

Hate the first, enjoy the second.

[Snotty128]

So the description is body horror, which I guess is closer to psychological horror. deformities, needles, that kind of horror. I think for some it might be funny, but it made me feel uneasy

[OhBollox]

Evil Dead Rise. This film is fucking stupid. The terrible blaring music, the cheap audio stings, the abominable CGI, the garbage editing, fuck everything about this piece of shit. I’m miserable at my own lack of good sense, and truly embarrassed I watched this. Normally I would tear this apart, either on here or down the pub, but it doesn’t even deserve that level of regard.

[OhBollox]

https://old.reddit.com/r/shittymoviedetails/comments/1g6cvj7/in_the_substance_2024_margaret_qualleys_ass_has/

[Snotty128]

Given that her breasts were prosthetic in the shower scene, I fully expect we got footage of someones ass, but it may not necessarily have been Margarets

[OhBollox]

[Snotty128]

yep, thatll do for my new wallpaper

[Snotty128]

Ive rewatched the film paying particular attention to Margaret Quallys ass. For purely scientific purposes.

The majority of the time the film cuts between the actresses face before switching to a butt shot. This would lead me to believe we are looking at a stunt ass.

However there is a scene before the demolition scene where Margaret and her ass are on camera at the same time. While not quite as full as the stunt ass, shes definitely got it where it matters.

I dont mind doing this kind of research if anyone has any other requests.

[js619]

The hero we needed right here, ladies and gents

[Strangiato]

Have you tried Poor Things or Kinds of Kindness yet?

[OhBollox]

And you definitely should 'cause they’re great; I literally said so in this thread.