Many, many years ago, I worked in the comic book industry. And I knew a lot of comic book artists and writers and editors, etc. I was friends with some of them, many others were acquaintances. It was a great job, in some ways, but also one of those jobs that showed me everything about how the sausage is made, at a lot of different levels, and it eventually ruined me for comics for a while. I honestly hate talking about this experience because it tends to make me want nothing to do with comic books whenever I think of it.
But in the course of my time doing that, I met a lot of really interesting people, including Neil Gaiman. And we got along. He was a generally nice guy, intensely creative, funny, and very literate about a lot of topics. He was also very pleased about how smart he was, he liked his status in the industry a lot, and he certainly enjoyed the attention he got from fans. All of which is very forgivable and understandable. And we got along well; we were friendly acquaintances. He introduced me to people, weād make time to talk at cons, and for some time, we had each otherās home phone numbers and would talk infrequently. He was married to his first wife Mary back then, and she would often answer the phone and was quite lovely. He had kids, and he was an attentive parent, from what little I knew.
At a certain point, something changed about him, though. The celebrity and adoration seemed to mean a lot more to him. There was a lot of gossip for a while about him and the musician Tori Amos, and he refused to dispel any of it. He was still the same nerdy smart guy, but he seemed a lot more occupied with escaping comics (I could hardly blame him), perusing wider fame, and garnering the attention of other women. Again, these were only my observations, and these are by no means uncommon or even ābadā characteristics. But there was an aspect to him that I quickly grew to dislikeāsomething about his personality felt more unscrupulous and even cut-throat. I had left the industry around that point (so it is easy to understand why he may have been less interested in me), and we stopped staying in touch.
I heard a lot of things about him from lingering friends I knew in comics and publishing, and all of it was what I can best describe as being said very carefully. The messages and implications were fairly clear, though I had stopped caring about anything related to comics, honestly, so I never knew what to believe and didnāt track it. But none of it made me doubt in any way what I had felt changed about him. He soon left his wife, and that was sad to me, but not really surprising.
Now, for what itās worth, the current news has also been sad but not surprising to me either. I am only (mildly) surprised it took so long.