Film; or The Silver Screen

Miscellaneous Blather
#1082

Now I want Jurassic Dollhouse, where they decide they’ll clone dinosaurs, but make them, like, puppy-sized. They could still get loose, and a bunch of little sharp guys could be a pain in the ass, but I’d like them to try lowering the stakes.

Plus, then you get the Jurassic Skate Park sequel, where they get trained to do sick tricks on little skateboards, and one of them could recreate the skateboarding and smoking dog with a martini sign. Really go for that Westminster Dog Show vibe, but with dinosaurs.

5 Likes
#1083

You’re welcome.

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6 Likes
#1084

The best part is, the merchandising can be life-size!

3 Likes
#1085
#1086

Elevation.

The Falcon and Deadpools girlfriend (and some other chick) go on a fetch quest through monster infested territory.

If mid had a mid, it would be less than that.

This is as far as I got with the review before giving up and watching something else. I wanted to like it, I just couldn’t. I watched the second half of requiem for a dream instead.

1 Like
#1087

Finally got to Conclave and The Substance, not both in one night, both watched with the wife.

I enjoyed Conclave a lot - big name actors doing big name things. Enjoyed the acting and the movie, although admittedly two Jews had to pause a lot to google things.

The Substance. I know, I know, we were forewarned, but still, what the actual fuck. I mean… it was good? I thought the actress that wasn’t Demi Moore and who I also just found out is Andie McDowell’s daughter but with a different last name did a great job, but the visual horror got to be a bit over the top, especially towards the end…

2 Likes
#1088

https://old.reddit.com/r/shittymoviedetails/comments/1ig0qdv/in_planet_of_the_apes_1968_the_statue_of_liberty/
Worth it for the comments alone.

1 Like
#1089

I just saw the trailer for the new Jurassic World movie and my brain about melted. My expectations weren’t high to begin with but really? The acting looks bad. Scarlett Johansson looks horribly miscast and unbelievable in her supposed role. The weapons look ridiculous. Hey, look, there’s a kid there, again, somehow. For a second there I thought I was watching an Indiana Jones movie when they were in some hidden temple. And finally, even though they jumped the shark alway back when they unleashed a T-Rex in San Francisco, I think they are going way, way, way overboard and possibly introducing some Dino/human hybrid here? I think I mentioned this trend in my Alien: Romulus review. It’s tiring. Sigh.

1 Like
#1090

The first Jurassic World movie was the best in the series since the original film. The second was one of the three worst Hollywood movies I have ever seen. The third was just meh. At this point there’s not a lot of reason to bank on the series, but some part of me still is interested nonetheless because, you know, dinosaurs.

1 Like
#1091

Agreed completely. Yet the further they stray from real dinosaurs the less interested I am…then show a T-Rex and pull me back in.

2 Likes
#1092

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The Gorge. Not terrible, but certainly not good. A mess of genres dropped into a film that is too long and still doesn’t do justice to any of them, losing out on brevity and coherence for…nothing, as far as I can tell. Both leads are fine, but their relationship is not, unless it’s meant to be a singular lesson on the benefits of isolation on choosing a partner. One good action sequence.

1 Like
#1093

It was a perfectly fine date night movie that absolutely makes no sense at all.

Like what was the point on dropping him so far out and having him hike there when it turns out it is fairly easy to just fly a helicopter right there. Why keep the location a secret if they were never going to let him live? Why kill them, when it is clear that a WHOLE lot of people know about it…it’s not that big of a secret it seems. Also, I don’t think you would waste elite snipers out there. You could have put any ex-Ranger to take care of that stuff.

1 Like
#1094

It was a dumb movie with a few interesting moments. The early romance held my wife’s attention but she checked out the second act began. I had to look up of the script was written by AI because it was so, so bad.

1 Like
#1095

I suspect the gorge and elevation are twin films, with the gorge being the Arnie and elevation being the Devito.

Monsters, inaccesible location, love interest.

Except the gorge had some actual romance, some actual monsters (both monsters and monsterous)

#1096

I guess because it looks more dynamic and teamwork-y, several movies I’ve seen now have had moments when two people are back-to-back in a firefight, and each rotates 180 degrees. I’m fine if this involves each person firing a little to the right, then a little more to the right, etc., until they’ve swapped. That makes sense. But when they just swap, in the middle of an intense fight? That looks terrifically stupid to me. A triumph of the superficial over the intelligible.

Which is synecdoche.

4 Likes
#1097

Wait, that’s not how you do it? No wonder my buddies and I get kicked out of so many firing ranges.

2 Likes
#1098

Okay, technically I have done this every time I’ve visited a firing range.

2 Likes