Film; or The Silver Screen

[OhBollox]

Rebel Moon. A deeply confused film that doesn’t know whether it’s Star Wars or Seven Samurai, but has stolen virtually all of its visuals and audio from Star Wars, while the setting appears to be some cod-Roman empire, complete with gladiators. Space Nazis with English accents is honestly one of the least stupid things about the setting (spoiler: they cribbed it from Star Wars), and we can add that to a film that contradicts itself tonally and thematically from scene to scene, doesn’t know who its characters are or why they are there, there are no interactions between the mis-cast ensemble outside of the plot (the one scene between Boutella and Hunnam on his ship is awful), and the sense of scale is all over the place.

My favourite thing about this film is no-one knows how big anything is, there’s no sense of scale. The imperial dreadnought comes to a planet to…target one village. An admiral comes down to oversee this, because why do anything less stupid when you can do maximum stupid? The force to defend the village is six people plus a cool fakeout from the resistance of hundreds/thousands, who you think will get recruited, but then it turns out to be one man and a few of his friends. The village offers to pay the rebels in grain, which seems like somewhat paltry wages to combat a starfaring empire. We see this same imperial force destroy a planet. So what possible fucking good are half a dozen people going to do?

“It’s alright lads, me and my five mates will protect you.” - Some fucking idiot wielding a sword, on the surface of Alderaan, ten seconds before the Death Star fires.

I can’t get over how no part of this film makes any sense when viewed next to any other part. Bear in mind, they’re not trying to start a general resistance movement, or protect their planet, and the film completely ignores the opportunity for the existing resistance movement to seize on this struggle. The film literally misses its own point; it tells you about a resistance movement before it tells you who they are resisting or why…but then the resistance movement doesn’t help people trying to rebel.

Some of the fight scenes are good (the bar scene especially), but some of them are just as bad (spider fight) and the film as a whole is too visually busy. The amount of money the cast must be getting in order to star in this shit hopefully makes it all worthwhile. The most bizarre mishmash of Roman empire fanboyism and empty-headed Star Wars copypasta I have ever seen.

[kennfusion]

I have a flight to Paris in a couple weeks, I guess I am watching this on that flight, this sounds hysterically bad.

[Mirefox]

Here’s the thing about all the Rebel Moon/Star Wars comparisons - they are, at best, superficial. Star Wars gave every kid that ever saw it a sense of joy and wonder.”; They immediately wanted a lightsaber of their own and a pair of goofy droid sidekicks; They wanted to root for the little guy and boo for the bad guy; They wanted to be Luke or be Han or rescue their own Leia. Rebel Moon is completely devoid of anything at all that make the first Star Wars good. There is no joy, no humor, no sense of wonder, and not a single likable character. Heck, I can’t even name one character in the whole movie. Rebel Moon is as shallow as a puddle.

[js619]

God bless you, I knew you wouldn’t disappoint.

[Hustlertwo]

I will never, never understand Snyder bros. This man has never made a single movie I would call great. Only a couple of them edge even into ‘good’ territory. He has crippling stylistic and technical issues that he refuses to fix because some nerd on an Internet forum in 2014 called him an auteur and he actually believed it. He is very confident in turning out mediocrity.

[Mirefox]

I never really knew is name until the whole “Snyder Cut” hype with one of those more recent DC movies. Looking at his filmography, he hasn’t done much of note. Maybe ‘300?’ Visually is was a bit ahead of its time. I wasn’t even a big fan of ‘Watchmen.’ Everything else is at best mediocre. How has he become so popular?

[OhBollox]

I do like Watchmen; but it sticks slavishly close to the book, so I don’t grant him much credit for it. He made a lot out of his DC films when Marvel was getting all the attention, and he unfailingly defaults to right-wing messages in his film which obviously has its fans; he does have his own visual style, however fucking awful it is, and it’s brash enough even for people who don’t know his name to recognise it. His films are often visually flamboyant, which seems to be enough for some.

[Private_Prinny]

…the Dune 2 withdrawal symptoms are getting out of hand lately…I am well over 40 now and I basically could die any second now. I want that movie in my live right now, so I can watch it three dozen times at least before having an unpleasant meeting with the ferryman.

Jokes aside…it is frightening to wake up someday and realize that the last movie I saw in a RL cinema was Dune 1 and the last movie I saw on my couch was Matrix 2 a couple of months back (an abandoned rewatch of the first three films to get ready for film 4 since it is free on Amazon prime here but eh, cannot be bothered lately to watch anything).

Where did the yearly re-watching marathons of LOTR extended, Alien franchise, Die hard franchise, Avatar and Dune (1984) go?

[biffpow]

33 Must-See 2024 Movies to Add to Your Watchlist

“Must-See” apparently does not mean what I think it means. Several comments:

–Over 50% of these are sequels or remakes. Most of those are genuine head-scratchers. Beetlejuice 2? Really? With Keaton again? The Fall-Guy (remade from a bad 80s TV series)? Mean Girls The Movie? Kung Fu Panda 4? Who is greenlighting this stuff?

– @Private_Prinny will be happy to know that Dune 2 is just a few months away and that there is a new Alien movie dropping in August and set between the first and second movies.

–Marvel is utterly fooling itself releasing Madame Web to theaters. I wouldn’t watch that if it were direct to Disney+; who’s going to pay theater prices for that?

–October brings a second Joker movie. No, really. And they’re adding Harley Quinn, played by…Lady Gaga. On the one hand, that’s so random it’s kind of interesting; on the other hand, it only proves what we already knew–Lady Gaga will do anything for money.

–Most interested in IF and Drive-Away Dolls. I will have to eventually see Beetlejuice2 because Monica Belluci is in it. Argyle also has potential.

[OhBollox]

Director James Wan

Oh fuck off. Stopped reading.

[Hustlertwo]

Hey, my younger kid is beyond excited for Kung Fu Panda 4. She loved Tai Lung so much she mailed a Valentine with a dollar enclosed to England to where Ian McShane lived. Had to get an international stamp and everything. Only other time she did that was Chris Cooper from the Muppets movie. So seeing Tai Lung back from the dead in this one (and possibly headed for a face turn) was a big deal.

[Mirefox]

I just got back from seeing Wonka with the kids. It was fine, I guess, for what it is. I’m not the target audience and I understand that.

There was a trailer for Dune Part Two before the movie and I just wanted to say that I don’t think the trailers for it have been all that compelling. I think the movie will be awesome but the trailers aren’t very impressive.

[Hustlertwo]

Hot take: Dune Part One was boring, and not just because the whole Part One thing in movies is really crappy (looking at you, Spiderverse). It sought depth in such a shallow way. They always said Dune was unfilmable and this movie proves that they were right. It was way up its own rectal cavity.

Oh, and the Madame Web thing isn’t Marvel. That’s Sony. Disney probably desperately wishes they could stop Sony from doing this sort of stuff, but that’s what happens when you sell off film rights to characters to stay afloat.

[kennfusion]

We decided to watch Rebel Moon last night. I will share my wife’s review: “It wasn’t the worst movie we have watched this year.”

[OhBollox]

[Baelnor]

That would mean more if it wasn’t day 364/365.

[js619]

But… what was? WHAT WAS, WOMAN?

[Natus]

Agreed, except I think Dune is filmable. Villaneuve is high on his own supply, so the movie will be all visuals, but little drama. Seems to have worked for LotR! People still re-watch that.

[OhBollox]

https://hdernity.medium.com/supplement-denis-villeneuve-the-white-savior-of-dune-ac1d24a75f85

[Private_Prinny]

I am fine with that. I’ve read Dune (and watched Dune 1984) enough times to know it is a lost cause. When I read about the real prospects of a new Dune film about a decade past I resolved for “hopefully it is a visual masterpiece, because there is no way they can capture the spirit of the books decently”

And IMHO it is just that a spectacle. I am neither a movie connoisseur nor have I watched more than 2 dozen films in a movie theater this millennium but for what I wanted from it I got plenty. The last straw was when they did not explain the Mentat system when Thufir Hawat was on screen. A forceful rip on the bandaid and I was good for the rest of the movie.